Jokes

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? .... A MILK DUD!

My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course.
She's been grazing in the field too long,...
And now she thinks she's a horse.

What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia.

Where do cows go when they want a night out?
To the moo-vies!

What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
Bull-dozin'.

Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
The farmer had cold hands.

What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
"It's just an udder day."

How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
With a Cowlculator.

Why don't cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry...

Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.

What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat.

What do cows wear in Hawaii?
Moo-moos.

What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated.

Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn't work.

I was driving through the country, and there were some cows by the side of the road. We're all mature adults, so we've all done this: I leaned my head out of the car window, and yelled, "Moooooo!" Like we expect that cow to be thinking, "Hey, there's a cow driving that car! How can he afford that?"

Two cows are talking.
Cow 1: "Hey, did you hear about that mad cow disease?"
Cow 2: "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it."
Cow 1: "Why not?"
Cow 2: "I'm a duck."